It’s true. That doesn’t mean, however, that feelings aren’t real. It simply means they aren’t fact, they’re not the reality. Even though you feel it deeply, doesn’t mean that it’s the reality of the situation. Understand this – your feelings and emotions are absolutely valid.
This isn’t about questioning how you feel or if you should feel this way. However, you do have to question what your feelings are based in – is it reality? Probably not.
Loneliness is an excellent example. When you feel alone it’s easy to slip into thinking that it will always be this way or that you’re lonely because nobody likes you. Is that the reality of the situation? Let’s take a look at the evidence.
What people in your life do you consider to be your friend? Has someone texted you or engaged with you online today? When did you last feel connected to someone?
You can acknowledge your loneliness, while still recognizing the fact that this isn’t forever. That feeling feels real to you because it is a real feeling. However, others will not view it the same as you. You can validate and hear the feelings of others as they can do for you, but it’s no one’s responsibility to cater to your feelings. It’s your own. No one can change it, but you.
Let’s be clear – other people can absolutely cheer you up and lift you up. However, it isn’t their responsibility. It’s your responsibility.
Your feelings and emotions are what motivate you. They push you on even after a disaster. They prod you even when you have continually faced disappointment. You can be an emotional person, and if you’re not you likely know one. That isn’t an inherently bad thing. Your feelings can be a good thing! When you recognize that they are not always rooted in reality.
As you get older, you have learned to understand your feelings. You accept them, trust them, and even enjoy them. Sometimes, though, we forget to embrace the positive feelings and get hung up on the negative ones that bring us fear and pain.
That is something that can help you understand that your feelings will not always tell you the truth. Sometimes, we experience feelings that just aren’t real. It feels real, though. So, if it feels real, then it must be real.
Feelings aren’t reality.
A lot of things in life can trigger an emotional response. Some come from the past, some are in the present, and there are even those triggered by thoughts of the future. Then there are the feelings that come from fantasies. We fill our heads with lies that fuel unhappiness, and needlessly so.
We face an endless supply of feelings, both negative and positive, on a daily basis. What you have to do is learn to differentiate between those feelings that are rooted in reality and those that come directly from your imagination.
Your boss looked at you kind of funny and now you’re convinced you’re about to get fired. That’s not reality. That’s your imagination playing tricks on you. You have allowed those feelings to consume you, to overwhelm you, all because you have created a negative outcome in your imagination. It can leave you feeling out of sorts for hours, even days.
There is no need for you to feel this way. The best thing that you can do in situations like this is to tackle your feelings head-on. As soon as you begin to experience negative feelings, take a look at the evidence. Is this feeling rooted in reality? There’s a good chance that your miserable feelings are misleading you.